The following are very basic and simple guidelines as given to us by an 'expert.' Keep in mind, the following instructions precedes three bottles of wine.
Step 1: NOSING
Gracefully pick up your glass. Appropriately tilt the glass and ever so slightly stick your nose just inside the rim with your eyes closed and deeply inhale the vapor. The tingle you feel becomes more noticeable with each 'nosing.' Lower glass. Pause.
Step 2: AGITATE AND NOSING
Leaving the glass on a flat surface [for beginners learning to master the hand holding agitation motion] swish around in a circular fashion allowing the scotch to swirl in a tornado-like motion. This process enhances the alcohol content during 'nosing.' Repeat Step 1. The aroma intensifies with the agitation motion as well as the inhaled vapor seeping deeper into the nasal cavity with a stronger sensation. Pause.
Step 3: TASTE and SWALLOW
Take a small 'taste', but do not immediately swallow. Let the scotch linger towards the back of your mouth simulating a gargling motion but do not gargle; thus, allowing the flavor to smother your taste buds while leaving your mouth slightly open. [not sure why]. THEN, swallow. Don't be surprised if choking ensues and a burning sensation hits the back of your throat. Pause.
Enjoy, right? No. HA HA HA HELL! 1-1/2 hours later a forgotten crucial part of Step 3 was let out of the bag.
To eliminate the gagging in Step 3 bring your mouth from the tilt backward motion to normal - THEN swallow eliminating the gagging and coughing.
Albeit, I can definitely tell the difference between the smokiness of one brand versus the smooth lighter flavor of the other. The lesson proved successful. Granted [more like, thankfully] there were just two different Scotch brands to 'taste.' I cannot imagine enduring a scotch party with 8-20 men all bringing their own bottles to the tasting. It goes without saying I will definitely vault the knowledge of the preceding information. However, I will stick to wine tastings in the future.
Wine and scotch tossed with a mix of delicious food in-between can only lead to more intensifying craziness, right? Yes, is the answer. Following food, drink and dancing, and the 'brilliant' scotch lesson, the fabulous idea of sledding was brought to the table. Fabulous idea! Midnight sledding in the backyard. With my white cashmere dress, boots, mink coat and fur headband, we took turns [6 runs] throwing ourselves down the hill on a tube. No trees were hit! Bonus! Yet no one made it over the ramp entirely. I'm guessing you need to be 6-10 years old to accomplish that.
Thank you, for a great evening! Food, drink and sledding. May I never take another sip of scotch.
